The SCREW BIKINI-SEASON GUILT Challenge

Hey Fuckit Dieters!

It is that time of year when clothing gets smaller and everybody and their baby starts talking about Bikini Season and Bikini Bodies and cleanses and clean eating. Blarhhghjjg.

So let’s do something else:

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It can be hard to not get worried or self-critical when it gets warmer- with everyone goddamn blabbing on about how fat they are and how unacceptable that is. Our culture is wired and conditioned to complain and dread showing our bodies, and complain constanly about how we are atoning for our winter sins.

Everyone starts talking about beach bodies. Shut up everyone!

I am going to give you 30 days of positive, “anti bikini-season-guilt” daily challenges. Fun and Life-Affirming.

Here is how you join in on this FREE fun:

Everyone who is subscribed to my email newsletter will get an invite to the Exclusive “Screw Bikini Season Guilt” Private Facebook Group. So subscribe!

I will send out the info to join starting next week, and challenge day number 1 starts May 1st!

(If you are already subscribed, you will already be included and invited to join in with the next newsletter I sent around next week.)

Until May 1st when the daily challenges start, the private group will be open for chatting, building the community, and whatever you like. Starting May 1st, the DAILY anti-body-shame, inspiring challenges will begin!

(There will also be a gallery full of pictures of your badass bikini bodies. Of course, you can choose to join in on the bikini body picture fun, or not.)

ALL OF THIS IS FREE! AND FUN! And for the betterment of your life enjoyment. Join me and your awesome, badass fellow Fuckiteers.

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JOIN THE “SCREW BIKINI GUILT” FUN

(by signing up!)

(You’ll hear from me next week via email about joining the Facebook group)

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Reach Out: It’s OK to Need Support

The truth is, we can’t do all of this alone.

It is ok for you to need to reach out: to a friend, to a family member, to this site, to another professional, to a higher power, to a psychologist, to me, to another reader, to anyone. It is ok. In fact it is brave.

We get it wrong on what strength means. In fact, that is what eating disorders are: mistaken strength and control.

With eating disorders, we think control and obsession and restriction is strength, but it is actually our highlighted weakness and fears.

Same thing with anything else in life. We think forging forward, staying quiet, pretending everything is ok, punishing ourselves, and trying to make it alone are signs of strength. They are not. They are signs of fear.

Vulnerability is strength.

Asking for help is brave.

Admitting imperfection, needs, fears, struggles, crazy thoughts, dreams, frustrations, asking questions: these things are good. These things are strong. These things are brave.

Here Are Some Ways To Reach Out or Get Support:

CALL TO ACTION: Choose one of these things below today and take action.

Tell a friend or family member what you are going through. Reach out to someone close to you and let them know what is going on. They may not fully understand, but it is freeing to be honest about where your mind has been and the struggles you are working through.

Tell someone who you know has gone through this before. Reach out to anyone in your life who has openly battled with food craziness. Get their perspective. Tell them where you are struggling.

Get my workbookJump in and make a commitment to do exercises that will force you to go deep into your fears, hidden desires, and dreams. It will change your relationship with food, your body, and your life.

Find an accountability partner. Find someone, on this site, on another site, or anywhere else in your life- who you can talk to every week and confess how well you have done with your goals (eating and otherwise). I do this with business goals, but anyone could do this for mental or eating goals.

See a professional. If this is something you can handle on your own, see someone who can help you (a psychologist… not a nutritionist). Just make sure their beliefs for your recovery are in line with what you want out of life: freedom.

Contact MeI am always happy to hear your story for free, and often have time to quickly respond. I also offer email coaching to go more in depth.

Write a prayer to the universe, god, higher power, life, your body. It doesn’t matter what you believe in. Ask for help. Tell the world what you want for yourself. Say what you need help with. Describe the freedom you want to feel. Affirm what you believe is possible for your life and relationship with food. (I just found an old letter that I wrote in a journal to “Dear God” YEARS ago all about wanting to be free with food. But it is amazing how many of my dreams came true.)

Take Action. Choose one option above and do it TODAY

Then write your action step below in the comments!

Be kind to yourself.

Fuck it.

Q & A: Boredom Snacking and Emotional Eating

Here is a Q&A from a reader who reached out to me:

“There are times when I know I’m not hungry, but I just feel like putting something in my mouth.  I’ve tried gum, but it’s not nearly as satisfying as potato chips or chocolate or cookies.  I feel like this is also something that my body doesnt’ need, but when I make the conscious effort to NOT snack at my desk at work, I feel like I’m punishing myself and denying myself which makes me want it more and I eventually cave or get cranky.  Do you think that emotional eating is a verified need, or do you think that it’s a behavioral thing that would be healthier to try to change rather than snack so much?”

 

Answer:

The truth of the matter, is that sometimes people use food as an escape. Boredom Eating and Emotional Eating are real, and not horribly damaging by definition alone. The thing is, if you are bored at your desk, it is far better to figure out why you are bored. And if you are eating out of fear or sadness, we all know that the eating isn’t going to heal the actual feeling you will eventually need to deal with (by FEELING IT!). Needing to chew on something is a nervous habit. But again, it is genuinely possible to stop, because I did. And not by “trying to stop”, but years and years of forcing myself to be honest with myself about my life and my feelings and then Feeling my Feelings. Because feelings don’t kill you.

That is the “cure” for boredom snacking. That is the cure for escapism. Feeling all of our feelings, dealing with our life, figuring out why we are so bored and miserable and trying to make a change. Small changes, big changes, internal changes, external changes. Feel those feelings. That makes you strong, not weak. Brave not cowardly. It is not easy, especially at first, but it is rewarding.

But you probably knew that already, right?

Boredom and Emotional Eating are also, NOT bingeing, unless it is of course. There is a difference though. If there is an immense amount of guilt that follows your snacking, that can easily lead to bingeing. Because guilt associated with eating creates a denial mentality: “I shouldn’t beeeeee I will stop tomorrow maybeeeeee”.  So you go nuts and binge. Same with forcing yourself not to boredom snack if you want to. “I am not allowed to eat the snackkkssss I wanntttt. I feeeelll alll the feeellliinngggngngngngngsssss”

Ok, so this is my prescription: Eat your boredom or emotional foods. Eat them. Just do it. Who freaking cares. You will probably be less hungry later and that is how a healthy normal body regulates. But in addition to letting yourself eat out of boredom or sadness, commit to feeling your feelings too. During or After. Do both.

Let yourself eat, because eating is not inherently bad. And the less taboo snacking is, the less appealing it is. Genuinely. AND the less taboo it is, the more you are likely to stop boredom snacking once the snacking is boring as well. Because snacking is pretty boring too, in it’s own snack-y way.

Have a simple question? I will answer it for you for free.

Alsooooo, I have a new site that is being born that is the sister of this one. It is called Actress Therapy and it is geared towards actresses and body image- and it already has a Facebook page you can check out, and the website is being…. created.

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Also if you need a kick to jumpstart healing your relationship with food once and for ALLLL, get my book!

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Hello Performers!

I am starting a new movement- this one is more specifically geared for actresses and performers.

As of now it is just in baby stages, but I plan on growing the community big. Having workshops in NYC. Taking over. Empowering all women, in media and watching media…. Changing the World. Ya know.

As of now it is just a Facebook Community called “Actress Therapy”. But I will give it it’s own site eventually (linked with this one of course, they are siblings).

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There is much more to come.

Actress Therapy on Facebook.

So excited to have you guys come along.

Will I Ever Stop Constantly Thinking About Food?

Here is a question I received from a reader:

Q: I feel that I still am thinking about food too much. Will this stop at some point? … I don’t have any problem with gaining a little bit of weight, but I just don’t know if I can trust that I won’t continue bingeing. Before I lost weight I was eating chocolate everyday (also overeating), why would that stop now?

A: In my experience, the biggest and nearly only reason for bingeing is restriction, both physical and mental.

If the fixation is eating as much as possible whenever possible- take heart. Once you reintroduce food, a free-for-all is to be expectedThat is your body’s way of getting you back to normal and out of starvation. It is a survival response. Our brains are wired to fixate on food, and are bodies are wired to crave it. This may go on for a while. Until you genuinely know and prove to yourself over time that this isn’t just a fun blip in a lifetime of diets, your body will fixate on eating. That is ok. And for better or worse, eating is your way out. But you have to go through it before you get out of it, and you can’t force it. Slowly but surely you will find yourself caring less about foods you used to obsess over. Slowly.

If your fixation is still on calories and purity, that is your brain holding onto a modicum of control. It is so scary to let go of something that seemed so important before. It is so scary to give up control and not trust or know whether or not you will ever stop eating. You will. You will NOT continue eating for the rest of your life. You are not a bottomless pit, though the fact that you may feel like one right now is ok.

Bingeing is a response to restriction. Once you genuinely have been eating all the foods you want for a good amount of time, the fixation on them and on eating them subsides. I promise.

As far as your overeating before your obsession and so fearing you will after, that is a good question. But you have to know that overeating and bingeing are different. There is a big difference between bingeing on chocolate, and eating a lot of chocolate for comfort. If there is no restriction involved, a binge is highly unlikely, and if you find yourself overeating chocolate once in a while, it is absolutely fine and normal and human. There is nothing to be scared or guilty about and life can continue as usual. “I ate a lot of chocolate, oh well, now I’m not hungry for a little while, maybe I should take down the trash.”

AND if you were genuinely consistently and uncomfortably overeating chocolate before you decided to restrict and lose weight, I would bet you almost anything it was under some sort of denial mentality. Was chocolate restricted? Did you worry about getting fat or eating too much? Did the more you ate chocolate, the more you think you shouldn’t be eating chocolate? I bet a lot that there was still a sense of restriction. That can cause a fixation and a hoarding/bingey mentality.

I promise you, chocolate is just not THAT exciting once you have full reign. Once you can eat chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner and snacks and desert, there is no pull. It is unremarkable. Sure it is still good at specific times and can really hit the spot. But once you know you never need to stop, magically, you begin to stop.

I promise this is true. These days, I forget to go grocery shopping and forget to eat dinner before I leave the house. Of course, that is it’s own problem, and now it is highly probably that some good old fashioned grocery shopping and food planning and vegetable roasting may do me some good, but my days of fixating over food are GONE!

Fuck It.

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Want to dive deeper? Check out my Badass Eating Workbook!

Be the Change (and also F*** IT)

This is a call to action.

You know that famous Gandhi quote? Be the change you want to see in the world? Well I have heard that so many times that it has almost lost it’s meaning. yea Yea Yea YEA ok, yes. Ok be the change. I get it. La La La.

But, truly, if what we are seeking is a world where the media showcases people of all sizes, where eating disorders to not running rampant, where we are judged less by our bodies and more for our actions and minds, we really do have to be the ones to start.

If you want to stop being judged by other people, the first step is to stop doing it to yourself and others.

If you want the media to start vouching for bodies of all sizes, you have to, too.

If you want to be able to go to a gym to feel good and not feel judged and constricted, go with the intention of self- love and demand nothing less than respect for where you are now.

If you want a world where people don’t talk about and idealize “dropping 15 lbs for bikini season”, give it no energy. In fact: put out content and intentions  and conversations that support a different focus, something that supports your desire for the world.

Do things. Speak Up. Love yourself, Support others. Eat Ice Cream or __________(insert food). Go for walks with Music. Smile. Breathe.

Fuck It.

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In the comments, list one thing you could do or change that will put the idea of this blog post into action!

And, get the  Workbook!

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You Are Not On This Earth to be SMALL

I have had a lot of difficulty navigating the waters of body image.

Body Image has been my number one biggest problem, even when I wasn’t aware of it. Even more than my obsession with health.

For almost the wholetwo years after I made the commitment to the Fuck It Diet, I would still get a look at myself in the reflection of a store window as I passed by and totally seize up in horror that I was “__unimportant adjective__” and not fitting into the “acceptable” box that I always had aspired to fit into.

Well, somehow, somehow somehow, after two years… my perfectionism has nearly fallen away. I just don’t really care anymore about being what I used to need to be.

Part of that has been time, confidence, time, confidence, affirming and affirming over and over again that I am more than what I look like and FUCK anybody else who tries to convince me otherwise. Part of it is writing this blog. Part of it is Body Positivity on Pinterest. Part of it may even have been some casual and sporadic EFT (look it up) and part of it was just plain time and waiting to have mini epiphany after mini epiphany about the way I saw the world and myself.

So, beautiful people, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And please remember this:

YOU ARE NOT ON THIS EARTH TO BE SMALL.

None of us on this earth are here to be small and docile. We are here to be expansive and filled with light and life and enthusiasm and compassion, for ourselves and others.

So go and be that.

Stop trying to be small.

 

And here is my workbook. Click on it to bring you to more info!

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You Can Get A Lot Done When You’re Not Obsessing Over Food

You can get a lot done when you are not obsessing about food. And you can actually forget about food if you are trying to get a lot done.

NOTE: There is NOTHING HELPFUL about trying to forget about food. Food is good. Food is important. Eating a lot is necessary for staying alive, body tissue, hormones, libido, mood, blood sugar, social lives, metabolism, ETC. All things I have said before. Never try to forget to eat. That is dumb. That is disordered.

However, the times, often, that I have actually forgotten to eat before I leave the house because I was busy worrying about my life and doing the things I cared about and wanted to do were nothing short of MIRACULOUS for the girl who used to think about her next allowed, legal snack every 45 seconds.

We are on this earth to do cool shit. To connect with people. To give our talents. To make a difference. To do what we are meant to do. To get caught up in the fun, exciting, inspiring, beautiful parts of life. And part of that is eating good food. But people who are obsessed with food live their lives through the cloudy, gray lens of food and weight and purity. And they don’t have the time or energy or passion for much anything else.

When weight or idealized and impossible perfect health becomes your main goal instead of: your business, your family, your hobbies, projects, fun, travel, etc- you have stopped living your life.

Free up energy for your life. Realize that food is a placeholder and will never bring you what you want.

Go be awesome.

Fuck It.