6 Years Ago I Said “Fuck This Shit”

6 years ago I was in living at home with my parents for the Holidays doing a show at a local professional theater, trying to eat like a paleolithic cave woman, cheating and bingeing on bananas and paleo ginger snaps I made out of almond flour, then lying in bed, filled with bananas and cashews, promising that I would actually ‘do what I was supposed to do’ and eat only lamb and kimchi the next day.

Every single night I was furious with myself because of bananas and cashews and almonds and honey.

I told everyone I was sensitive to gluten and all grains. Beans had too much phytic acid, duh. And fruit was like a dangerous treat only for christmas when you could eat like a half a clementine.

And chocolate was ok but only if it was 99% and tasted like charcoal.

This was the last ditch effort after 10 years of extreme dieting trying to cure myself.

I was trying to heal my hormones and it didn’t fucking work because hormones aren’t healed by eating like a starving cave man or like a fruitarian. But who knew! Nobody told me that. Doctors told me to keep my weight down. So like a good little girl, 16 years ago, I fucking trusted them, and I trusted every other magazine and message board that told me to fear body fat. I was a good patient. I was determined to be responsible. Healthy. Beautiful. Successful.

I was fucking insane around food, but I was determined. It wasn’t working. But I kept getting on that diet horse, again and again, even though it was literally killing me and bucking me off and trying to trample me year after year after year.

And 10 years of diets later I was walking by mirrors, totally dysmorphic, wondering how I could cure my weak, weak human hunger and finally become healthy.

Then almost 6 years ago, The Fuck It Diet, like an angel, descended upon me on my 24th birthday and whispered in my ear “fuck this shit and all of this skinny, beauty-obsessed BS. Also, food, and weight, and eating aren’t bad for you. Go buy some bigger pants and eat some potatoes.”

I went on The Fuck It Diet, started this site and movement, have been teaching it ever since, and lived Happily Ever After.

 

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