Author: Caroline

young and the resting

Chronic Yo-Yo Dieting IS Disordered

We are a culture of Yo-Yo Dieters.

So many of us try to stick to diets, only to find ourselves bingeing, then restricting even more, then bingeing again, then restricting more, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Our eating is all over the place, our weight is all over the place, our sanity is all over the place, and we feel totally out of control with food.

So why does that happen? Why do so many of us seem to have such terrible will-power when it comes to what we put in our mouths?

It comes down to a very fundamental biological mechanism: Your body does not want you to restrict food. At all. In fact, when you restrict even just a small amount, your body responds with more fixation on food, irritability, higher stress hormones, slower metabolism and digestion, less energy, holding onto more weight… and bingeing.

That binge is your body is purposely forcing you off your diet. But because we still assume that our diet is the best thing for us, we turn around and try to restrict even harder, and then we fail even harder.

That’s the Yo Yo.

Here is the thing people never really realize: chronic yo-yo dieting is disordered.

And since eating disorders are a spectrum, the yo-yo diet is on the that spectrum. No it’s not necessarily anorexia or bulimia. (Though since yo-yos often include bingeing, there are yo-yo dieters who think they have Binge Eating Disorder. But what the bingeing really is, is a biological response to physical restriction).

Instead of letting ourselves eat, re-feed, and heal, we keep dieting harder, and that continued mental fixation on food and weight loss is where we perpetuate the disordered eating.

This means that there are wayyyyyyyy more eating disorders and disordered eaters than we think there are. And they go undiagnosed because we’ve been taught how normal it is to obsess over food and “losing a few”.  We think it is normal to live in a chronic binge/repent cycle for the rest of our lives, blaming ourselves endlessly for our lack of willpower, and having the topic dominate our conversations with other women.

“Well I gained weight”, “Oh me too”, “No you look tiny!”, “Oh! Well thanks.” “I would do anything to not be obsessed with crackers.” “Tomorrow I’m gonna be good”. And on and on.

What is important to remember is that this cultural obsession with a tiny body is relatively new, and our cultural relationship to food is also new. Never did we treat food with such judgment and obsession. Never before did we try to abstain from arbitrary foods based on ever changing fads. Never before did we pray to be able to walk away from the table hungry. Never before would this kind of feeding and eating have made any sense.

And even though this way of eating is now extremely common, it is still disordered.

And our bodies are not having it.

We also believe that the only way to have an eating disorder is to be emaciated. NOT SO. You can be thin, middle ground, or very fat, and be suffering from a restrictive eating disorder. The difference here, is that the disorder will be praised.

I really, really hope that in the coming years we can start to have a different dialogue about health and food that is not so black and white. I hope we can move into a place that’s a lot more supportive of different body types, understanding weight science even more, and that a nourishing and intuitive version of eating can replace this restrictive madness.

(If you are suffering from an eating disorder, please seek treatment. The Fuck It Diet is geared towards yo-yo and chronic dieters, not extremely restrictive eating disorders. TFID will never stand in place of treatment, this is simply a supplement and not specifically geared towards anorexia. Check out The Eating Disorder Institute which is more geared towards EDs.)

Calories In vs Calories Out is BS

We’ve been told that calories in versus calories out is how-weight-works.

“Eat less than you expend and you’ll lose weight”.

But this is what really happens:

“Eat less that you expend and you’ll lose weight at first, but then you’ll gain it all back and think it’s your fault- but it is actually because your body will compensate your metabolism in order to keep your weight stably around the same place, because biologically that is how we have survived as a species during all those years when food wasn’t as easy to ensure or come by.”

I understand that it’s a mind trip after the simplicity of calories in vs calories out.

Because first few times you dieted, I bet you really did lose weight easily. Then, when you gained it back, you were sure it was your fault. But it wasn’t. Your body made sure that that happened. And it even wanted you to go a bit ABOVE where you started, just for good measure.

But now you’re convinced that if you can just do it like you did the first time, you’ll lose weight again, but THIS time you’ll keep it off. This time you’ll do it right. This time you’ll succeed and be beautiful and happy foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr.

But it’s harder to do now because your body isn’t having any of this shit. You’ve already pressed your luck, and now your body is fighting back harder.

And even if you happen to muster the willpower to override your body’s efforts to make you eat and keep on weight, and even if you actually do lose weight again, your body will immediately lower your metabolism and make you expend less in order to eventually bring your weight back up. It will also wire you to crave more food than you ever would have wanted under normal eating and metabolic conditions.

It should be noted that increasing exercise will have the same effect. The body will encourage rest to make up for your exertion. And if you force more exertion, it’ll just slow down your system altogether.

There’s a good reason why Michael Phelps ate 12,000 calories a day. That’s what extreme exercise requires. (And it’s also around the amount that men rehabilitating from semi-starvation ate after the Minnesota Starvation Experiment.)

So, for any of you who thinks that weight is just a matter of decreasing your consumption, and are confused and frustrated that it’s not working anymore… it’s just because your body wants you to chill the eff out and start eating normally again.

It also wants you to put on weight.

You know why? Weight is actually healthy. Letting yourself gain weight actually is the only way to heal your metabolism.

Paradoxically, once you stop trying to control your appetite, and finally eat whatever it wants (even if that’s a LOT), it’ll heal. It’ll speed up. It’ll trust that there is food. And that is the surest way to have a healthy stable weight for you.

Bring on the calories.

What to Expect

Or: What to Expect When You Are Expecting to Heal Your Eating Real Fast And Become Skinny

(If you’re curious why I am editing the F word, it’s because of itunes’ new rules. SMGDH)

Your personal journey will be different from mine, or your friend’s, or the people you connect with on the internet. That being said, there will mostly likely be overlap and similar experiences as well, so I am going to list some things many people experience, just so you’re prepared.

Expect to be very hungry in the beginning.

You will be hungry. Think of the rehabilitation of Minnesota Starvation Experiment.

Hunger is the body’s way of repairing the body and metabolism. Lots of hunger is the natural healing response to the famine survival state. You will need to honor this hunger by eating.

Expect to be afraid of this hunger

You will be scared that you are never going to stop eating. You are going to be afraid that you will be this hungry forever. You are going to be afraid that without tight control, your eating will just keep going and going and going until you pop.

These fears are understandable but untrue, and ultimately, unhelpful. The more you can trust that eating is the only path to food normalcy, and a normalized appetite and metabolism, the quicker and easier it’ll be.

Whenever you’re panicking and doubting this whole process, just remember the famine. What would happen after a famine (or even a decade long semi-famine)? You’d be starving, you’d need to eat a lot more for a little bit, and then, naturally, things would go back to normal. And even if you have never experienced what normal appetite is, you will get there naturally, and eating is the only way. And fighting it is futile.

Expect to gain weight.

Trying to control your weight is the reason why you are now so messed up with food, and the reason weight becomes erratic and harder and harder to “control”. To heal the damaging starvation mode, you must gain weight. It is the only way to stop the cycle. This applies to you whether you are on the lower or higher end of the weight spectrum.

I know you want me to tell you that you are going to be ‘fighting the man’ and ‘rebelling against beauty ideals’ and eating a shit-ton and repairing your metabolism all while looking like an adorable, hairless, lithe fairy, but that’s not how this goes.

You are almost certainly going to gain weight. And it is actually an essential rite of passage on this journey.

It is also pretty much the only way to heal your metabolism. Remember the famine. What would happen after a famine? You’d gain weight. And then, only then, would the body be able to calm down and stabilize again and not hold onto every pound for dear life. No matter where you are, you can count on gaining some weight, and the more you resist it, the longer this whole process will take.

Expect to resist gaining weight

Your fear of gaining weight is one of the big root causes of your messed-up-eating, and always will be. So you need to face that fear — gaining some weight and learning to like yourself anyway is arguably the big rite of passage here, and will be a huge shift in your quality of life. If you attempt to skip this part, there is a part of this journey that will remain incomplete. You will remain petrified of what your life would be, and who you would be, at a higher weight.

Facing the fear of gaining weight will make all the difference ongoing, and make you able to continue eating normally as you go forward, understanding that your “worst fear has happened” and your life is still continuing to get better than before.

Expect to slowly stop fixating on food

This will take months, but the more you eat, and the more you allow the things that you used to be petrified of, the less you will find yourself fixating on food. This is both biological – as the body becomes more and more fed, but also just mental, you take away the power a food when you truly let yourself eat it.

Expect your weight will stop yo-yo-ing

Once you become normal and neutral with food, and once your body knows there is food, your weight will stabilize, easily, right around where it is supposed to be.

You will always fluctuate, that is human, but the dramatic weight gain and loss will stabilize. Weight stabilization looks different on everyone, but it will be healthy for you. And if you can surrender to that, the rest of this will be a breeze.

Expect to start having energy and brain space to focus on other things

The whole point of The F It Diet is to have food lose its power over you so you can focus on more soul fulfilling, life-enhancing things. The goal is to free up the energy that you’ve been spending on how perfect your protein bar collection is, and start focusing on doing things that actually enhance your life, things that make you feel good and alive and creatively fulfilled. And maybe even enjoying yourself while you do it. Wouldn’t that be amAZing?