Ever feel that before?
Well, they look good with more weight, but I never could.
I think it’s great that they accept themselves however they are…. I just can’t.
I think they’re beautiful, but I wouldn’t be if I gained weight.
I just look really bad with extra weight.
In fact, my little sister just said to me, “I have to put on fake tan because you can’t be fat and pale!” — as if it were a fact.
These are beliefs we take to be completely true, as if they are facts, and they’re ruining our lives.
You are the one who gets to choose.
It’s the same as saying, “Well they can follow their dreams. I just can’t.”
Well they can be happy, I just can’t.
Well they can be good at relationships, I am not.
Well they can make money, I never will.
Excuses excuses excusessssssssss!
And this is what it comes down to:
Well, yes you actually can be imperfect. And you already are, so you may as well embrace it.
I get it. I get the fear of vulnerability. I get the paralysis – the kindness towards others and the cruelty towards yourself. The fear of: what if people really do hate me if _____________? What if people really do hate me if they don’t think I’m beautiful? What if people think I’m lazy and worthless if I gain weight? What if I really am lazy and worthless if I gain weight?
I get it.
But it is still an excuse.
Once you know that you are the one creating your own misery, making the choice to like yourself as a work in progress (in every way) the only way forward.
And as long as you are using excuses, too afraid to jump in and actually act on this self-love ‘thing’ instead of just thinking about it, you’re going to stay stuck where you are: Imperfect, messy, human, and mortified about it.
You don’t need to be mortified about it – it’s ok.