I used to think sugar was the reason I was addicted to food. Sugar was the reason my hormones were out of whack. Sugar was the reason I wasn’t skinny.

It was all sugar’s fault.

This seemed to be confirmed by every health and diet book or guru out there. In the 90s it was fat, now it is sugar.

And depending on the diet I was on, not only was it refined sugar, but all carbs, too. Because all carbs turn into sugar. Haven’t you heard????????

That includes fruit, and rice and, depending on the diet, even carrots. I didn’t mind, cause I decidedly hated carrots, but still, too much sugar in carrots? Yep.

And the more I cut out sugar, the more it all became a self-fulfilling prophecy. The less I ate sugar, the more I craved it and the harder time my body had processing it when I would inevitably eat some. Then my body’s impaired metabolism of carbs and sugar just seemed to prove those beliefs about sugar even more.

But 4 years ago I started eating sugar again, full force. I was over it. I was over my futile attempts to find the perfect diet. I was over the yo-yo. I was over obsessing over my weight. I was over bingeing. I was over it all.

I knew there had to be a better way. And that included eating sugar and just letting it happen.

And now, 4 years later, my relationship to sugar is… awesome.

I did not spiral into a 4 year sugar binge. It was more like a 3 month sugar bender, and then… it all normalized.

That’s the part that people never let themselves get to, people panic or fight themselves and therefore stay in the binge/repent cycle. Guilty over eating, trying to cut back, then rebelling over their cutting back — and the cycle continues.

But now that I eat carbs, I can handle carbs. My weight is stable and consistent. I eat lots of carbs every day, but I can tell when my body has enough. I can tell, mid-dessert, if I’m ready to stop. And because I am allowed to eat as much dessert as I want, for the rest of my life, it’s no big deal.

Eating sugar did not make me a bottomless sugar pit, instead, eating sugar actually ended my dysfunctional relationship to it.

I fed my body sugar, and finally, my body started telling me what it needed.

I’m not saying that eating candy and only candy for the rest of your life is a good idea. But, I want to say very strongly that I believe what we are told about sugar and carbs is destructive to our relationships to food and feeding ourselves. That catchy headline that sugar is as addictive as cocaine is complete sensationalist bullshit.

The truth is, we need sugar. Our brain runs on sugar. We also obviously need way more than just sugar (fat, protein, minerals, vitamins, sunshine, sleep, connection, people, oxygen), but we need carbs and sugar, too, pretty profoundly. And the less you eat it, the more you’ll likely crave it, and the harder your body will work to break down protein and muscle into sugar for your brain to use (to keep you alive).

Not only that, but the less you eat carbs, the slower your body will burn fuel. Meaning, the less you eat carbs, the slower your metabolism becomes. And I promise you, that’s not what you’re looking for.

Sugar is only addictive to people who are either physically or mentally (and often both) denied carbs or calories. It is a fast fuel that we are wired to crave when food or fuel doesn’t seem abundant.

Hey, everyone needs something different. I can’t possibly speak for everyone. If cutting out sugar has completely healed your life and health, by all means, keep doing what you are doing.

But if you are like most people, odds are, things aren’t better. You still feel addicted to food. You’re still bingeing. You’re still cold, and tired, and reactive to food.

Maybe, just maybe, your issues aren’t from sugar, but actually from denying yourself sugar.

For me, cutting out sugar was definitely not the answer. (And you had better believe I tried over and over again for 10 years.)

The answer was finally feeding my body everything it craved, including sugar, and letting my body do the talking. My body is actually pretty freaking wise and normal with sugar, now that sugar isn’t forbidden.

I tried to eat intuitively for 6 years.

I thought that my (slightly obsessive) intuitive healed me from my “food addiction”.

But I still spent my entire life thinking about my next meal, rating my hunger level, worried that I was doing it wrong and “eating too much”. And worst of all, my life was still one long weight loss attempt.

Intuitive eating had just become the new diet du jour.

Oh, but it wasn’t a diet, is what I told myself. It was ‘what Europeans did’, or whatever.

I am here to tell you, that kind of intuitive eating, is still a diet. It’s just a diet by a different name.

If you are still very concerned with keeping your weight controlled, or losing weight, you’re on a diet. Even if you “let yourself eat whatever you want”. If your mind constantly worries about gaining weight, you’re on a diet. If you are able to “mess up”, you’re on a diet. If you get stressed when you “eat too much”, you’re on a diet.

How to free yourself from this?

1. You need a deep desire to be free from this cycle. You have to really want it. You have to really want a life where weight and eating is not at top of mind every day. You have to be miserable enough to want a big change.
2. You have to choose to trust your body. You have to decide, radical as it may sound, that your body is your friend. That your body just wants food because you’ve sort of been trying to restrict it all along. You have to want to feed your body and trust that that is the only way to heal it and calm it down.
3. You have to commit to gaining weight. I don’t know how much weight your body wants to gain. I can’t give you a number. I can’t tell you if it is going to stay there or then slowly lose weight once your body and metabolism and appetite feel safe.
4. You have to let yourself eat a lot. For years you’ve been trying to eat the smallest amount possible. That’s how you got yourself into this mess. The only way the body can find balance after this low grade restriction, is to swing in the other direction. Let it happen.

You can join my self-study program, Fuckiteer Academy: The Rebel’s Survival Guide, to get guidance on how to deal with the mental and emotional side of this whole thing. See you on the other side!

“I’ve been suffering with binge eating disorder. I have always been conscious about my body, because I grew up in a family with weight issues, and my brother and friends would tease me for my large hips.

I gained 8 kilos in like 4-5 months and I started binge eating. I don’t know what to do anymore, I tried to lose that weight, but it was counter-effective because I restricted my diet too much and in fact, I gained more because of the binge eating episodes. My relationship with food nowadays is unhealthy and isolating, and I just want my life back.

I want to be free from diets and all those exhausting and useless habits.  

What do you suggest I do?” – Erica

You’re damn right the restricting was counter-effective.

Binge Eating Disorder is a reactive disorder. It never, ever starts with binge eating disorder.

You are bingeing (all of you out there, not just Erica) because of restriction.

If not actual physical restriction (forcing yourself to eat less than you are hungry for) then MENTAL restriction.

It is that simple.

Always.

So the answer, is to stop restricting. Once you stop restricting physically, you may find that mental restriction (guilt/rules/fears/insecurity) lingers. Do everything you can to become aware of, compassionate about, but fierce against your mental restriction.

That is the only reason we binge. Restriction.

And anyone worrying about emotional eating? Emotional eating is not the thing the Eating Disorders are made of. It’s restriction. (Should I repeat that a few more times? No?)

Binge Eating is not the problem, bingeing is just the symptom. The problem is trying to be thinner. The problem is hating ourselves. The problem is trying to control our food intake. The problem is the guilt over feeding ourselves, and having bodies. The problem is restriction

Take those factors away, and eating normalizes every. single. time.