When people are learning not to diet, normally the first thing they try to learn is “intuitive eating”… which often backfires.

“Intuitive eating”, in it’s most essential meaning, is great. Eating intuitively is what we all can and should be doing. Eating should be effortless and stress-free. And it should be nearly thoughtless to figure our what you want to eat, how much, and when you stop eating.

Eating intuitively CAN be learned.

But when you start teaching an obsessive, disordered eater to “rate their hunger” and “make sure they are only eating when they are hungry” and to “stop at a certain number” on the “hunger-fullness scale”…. that is a recipe for DISASTER: more worry, obsession, and fears over “not doing it right”.

While I would never encourage anyone to not get in tune with their own hunger signals, I think people should do it on their own time, at their own pace, and generally not worry about it too much. Eating intuitive is already intuitive. Stop over-complicating it. Once diet thoughts, and restriction, and fear are out of the way …the body just eats intuitively. That is the definition.

Listening to your body is always a good thing, but don’t let silly rules get in your way.

Chronic dieters cling to intuitive eating rules because it makes them feel safe. It makes them feel like they still have control and a way to tell if they are “doing it right”.

Guess what? There IS NO “DOING IT RIGHT”.

This is eating, not math homework. Every single person and every single day is different. Every person has a different way of “normal eating”. You can’t eat normally like someone else, because their normal doesn’t mean it is right for you.

These are the kinds of things that intuitive eating can teach you if you listen long enough. If you had been doing this since you were a child and had never dieted, you’d do it without blinking. But since you learned some whacky habits and fears, you have to slowly get back there again.

REAL intuitive eating is not about “rules”. REAL intuitive eating does not involve a numbered hunger scale and perfect satiation. Because remember? Perfect satiation doesn’t exist.

So, in conclusion here are some actions I encourage:

1. Just eat. A lot. And feel how you feel
2. Pay attention to how your body feels ALL THE TIME, not just when eating
3. Once your food fears are gone, you will start to eat intuitively. No hunger scales involved
4. Intuitive Eating isn’t all or nothing, every day is different. Some day’s you’ll be more in tune than others
5. There is no “doing it right”, and once you are actually eating (and living) intuitively, your way of doing it right will be the only way to follow

I wrote something like this before, but here we go again….

There are two main reasons people diet and get obsessed with food.

#1. They want to be smaller

#2. They want to be healthier

#1 one is easier to diagnose and fairly straight-forward to convince people out of, even though emotionally, it can be incredibly difficult to heal.

#1’s biggest challenge? Short story: Accept not needing to be skinny, and release your control of your weight.

BUT, the second one is really hard to convince people out of. Isn’t health a noble goal? Isn’t it good to try and eat healthfully? Isn’t it good to cut out bad foods? Isn’t it worthwhile to try and improve our bodies? How can we justify eating unhealthy foods? How can we justify letting go of the desire for good health?

Yea. Health is a noble goal. And yes, we all deserve good health. And, yes, the time you have spent seeking health is justified. It makes sense. It all stems from a place of self-love- which is great.

But you know if you are the person who took it too far, who mixed a little too much fear into your self-love. Who now is obsessed with purity and desperate for health. Someone who is miserable searching for health. And unhealthy anyway.

Here is the thing: We can’t always know what will lead us to health. Our bodies are smarter than we think, and more complex than a computer or an algebraic equation. Most of the time, our attempts at perfect health backfire and make us worse. They slow us down, they ignore intuition, they raise our stress hormones, they make us miserable and more sick. You know if this is you.

So, what is the hardest part about healing #2?

#2’s biggest challenge is letting go of the Holy Grail of Perfect Health.

Let go of needing to be incredibly healthy.

It sounds crazy. It sounds irresponsible. But I promise, as someone who used to seek perfect health to no avail, it is freeing.

Perfect Health is a moving target anyway. Our bodies are always in flux, always cycling, always changing. And what’s more…for some of us, perfect health doesn’t even exist.

I am not telling you to “DECIDE TO BECOME UNHEALTHY”. No. I am just encouraging you, paradoxically, for your health and your sanity, to let GO.

Let GO of your desperation to become incredibly healthy. Because only then can you actually seek balanced health, in a way that doesn’t stem from fear and self-obsession.

Even when I started the Fuck It Diet, in the back of my head was the little voice Letting go might be the way to perfect health… 

Guess what? It’s not. Because for me, and most humans in this toxic age, perfect health doesn’t exist. Good health exists. Better health exists. Happiness exists. Good food and good meals exist. Eating without any stress exists. Laughter and joy exists. Good sleep exists. Eating what your body wants exists. Lower stress exists.

My life is better, my health is better, my metabolism, appetite, ease, and happiness: all better. But perfect health isn’t a part of that equation, because perfect health doesn’t exist.

Better health and happiness is probably waiting for you. But first: Let Go.

Annnnd…. Fuck It.

PS. If this doesn’t apply to you… great! Not everything applies to everyone. I still encourage you to Fuck It when it comes to dieting, and enjoy your life. You can still drink all the Kale smoothies you want. I love Kale Smoothies.

 

“Do you think that food addiction (on a chemical level, like refined sugar and salt and such) is a genuine addiction that would have withdrawal symptoms, or do you think it’s purely psychological?  You say to listen to your body’s cravings, but I can’t imagine Peeps or Twizzlers being something my body would need – rather chemicals I’m becoming dependent on (by the way, both are delicious and I do not plan on giving them up).”

I do not think food addiction is real. And also, the opposite is almost more true: it is incredibly real. Because, as humans, we are “addicted” to food, as we should be. We are wired to be addicted to food. The biggest issue is believing that needing and wanting food is a problem.

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WANT FOOD.

(tweet that!: )

The issue that gets in the way of normal eating, just like almost every single post I write will come back to is: restriction. We are WIRED to be addicted to food the more it is restricted. This is a survival mechanism.

There are two definitions of addiction, one involves the word “harmful substance”. And the other one is:

“an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something”

We have an unusually great interest in food. Because we need it to survive. And the more we restrict, the more we will be unusually or greatly interested in it.

So, ALLOW IT! Freely. Liberally. And guess what… once you do that, you will eat it… which is the whole point of allowing it! Eat it freely and liberally. People get so freaked out during that phase because they think: “Oh MAN. I have allowed it! But the whole point was so that I don’t eat it! But I’m eating so much! So it is not working!”. Stop and think… that mentality is not allowing it. You can’t allow it for the purpose of not eating it. THAT IS NOT ALLOWING IT! RIGHT?!

The whole point of allowing something is to actually eat it. The point of allowing something is not NOT eating it. Do you follow? When you think like that, you are still having a tiny little freaked out food police controlling you. And so you still have something to rebel against.

REMOVE ANYTHING TO REBEL AGAINST.

As for withdrawal symptoms? For the most part, NO! But you will have negative physical and psychological reactions if you remove necessary amounts of macronutrients OR dramatically restrict your food intake in any unnecessary way. Because we need food and your body is trying to protect you.

As for craving silly or fake-ish foods: When we are talking about cravings for peeps or twizzlers, we are now talking about a mostly psychological addiction to food that is perceived as scarce or restricted. But that is what happens when food is considered out of bounds: your brain gets involved. Your brain is wired to your eating/nourishment/satiation. So, no, eating peeps isn’t a huge body craving. It is a psychological craving. And you’d BETTER give into it! Because it is the only way to make friends with your hunger/desires, and prove to yourself that you are willing to listen to it.

You can’t remove how interconnected your psychology is from your appetite. They are intertwined. So accept it, and give in to your cravings, I promise that it can change your life.

Fuck it.