After years of dieting, I thought the answer would be “intuitive eating”.

This is it. Yesssss!

“I’ll eat whatever I want, but I just won’t eat too much. I’ll listen reallllyyy closely to my hunger, and all the signs my body is giving me about what I should be eating. And therefore I’ll eat, basically, perfectly, and I’ll be really skinny for GOOD just like I’ve always wanted, because it’ll be coming from within.

BOOM. Figured it OUT. Everything in moderation! It’s all fine in moderation!”

Here’s the problem: doing this “intuitive eating diet” or “hunger fullness diet” for the purpose of being skinny is already flawed. You’re already trying to manipulate the outcome, and already set up to feel guilty when your body wants things that you don’t want it to want.

And if there is one thing I have learned about real normal eating and real intuitive eating, it’s that that pendulum swing to the “I’m starving!!! I want ALL OF THE BROWNIES” is real and extremely necessary. In Minniemaud, (a method geared towards recovery from extreme restrictive eating disorders) part of that pendulum swing comes with Extreme Hunger. Where your body wants and actually needs tens of thousands of calories a day for metabolism and tissue repairs, and also… just Frickin’ Feed Me.

And my own experience recovering from not anorexia, and my experiences in helping people who have dieted for years, is that pendulum swing is a real part of this.

So deciding to “eat intuitively, but not too much” paired with the necessity of giving into extreme hunger on the path to normal eating is… the perfect storm. Or more specifically: it just won’t work. It backfires. It is still a diet.

That is why intuitive eating never worked for me all those years. And actually, I thought it was working for a bit each time. I lost weight sometimes. Because I used it as a diet. It was my little obsessive, but not as obsessive, way to think I was getting over it all.

But it’s not real healing, mind or body, and there was always the swing back. There was always the inevitable weight gain, or the decision to go on another, better diet. Because I was still able to ‘fall off the wagon’ and do it wrong.

Not only that, but being constantly stressed about whether you are eating the right amount, or the ‘right’ foods is miserable. It’s just not real freedom.

And it doesn’t actually work long run. You’re still fighting with your weight, silently fighting with your food, and living in the mental restriction.

So you’ve gotta go on the fuck it diet. For real. Fuck it.

Ever feel that before?

Well, they look good with more weight, but I never could.

I think it’s great that they accept themselves however they are…. I just can’t.

I think they’re beautiful, but I wouldn’t be if I gained weight.

I just look really bad with extra weight.

In fact, my little sister just said to me, “I have to put on fake tan because you can’t be fat and pale!” — as if it were a fact.

These are beliefs we take to be completely true, as if they are facts, and they’re ruining our lives.

You are the one who gets to choose.

It’s the same as saying, “Well they can follow their dreams. I just can’t.”

Well they can be happy, I just can’t.

Well they can be good at relationships, I am not.

Well they can make money, I never will.

Excuses excuses excusessssssssss!

And this is what it comes down to:

They can be imperfect, I can’t.

Well, yes you actually can be imperfect. And you already are, so you may as well embrace it.

I get it. I get the fear of vulnerability. I get the paralysis – the kindness towards others and the cruelty towards yourself. The fear of: what if people really do hate me if  _____________? What if people really do hate me if they don’t think I’m beautiful? What if people think I’m lazy and worthless if I gain weight? What if I really am lazy and worthless if I gain weight?

I get it.

But it is still an excuse.

Once you know that you are the one creating your own misery, making the choice to like yourself as a work in progress (in every way) the only way forward.

We are all imperfect works in progress.

And as long as you are using excuses, too afraid to jump in and actually act on this self-love ‘thing’ instead of just thinking about it, you’re going to stay stuck where you are: Imperfect, messy, human, and mortified about it.

You don’t need to be mortified about it – it’s ok.

You wouldn’t believe the amount of readers and clients I have who’ve said, “Well, I have this thing called PCOS, so I can’t actually let go and eat normally, because medically, I am supposed to keep my weight down.”

Guess what? I “have PCOS too”, so, here is what I have to say on the matter:

(Of course, remember I am NOT a doctor and I am not a scientist. And also my language below is extremely basic. I encourage you to read up on the further reading I list, and do your own research based on what I offer up as food for thought. And put this up to your own intuition. My intuition, after years of being obsessed with toxins, weight, sleep, food, was crying enough already, this insanity will never heal you.)

For those of you who don’t know, PCOS is a female hormonal imbalance, resulting in polycystic ovaries, but not always. There are a host of other symptoms that not everyone has. And it is supposedly caused by insulin resistance.

Basically, PCOS is an umbrella term for a common sort of hormonal imbalance, something like 1 in 10 women. But the actual symptoms and imbalances are not all the same from person to person.

It’s an umbrella term for whacky hormones and common symptoms.

And the doctors say: “don’t gain more weight”. Or “lose weight” or “You’re one of the thin ones” or “You don’t have PCOS, you just have low progesterone.”

Which goes to show what a “science” diagnosing PCOS is….

“Go on the pill. Go on this medicine for insulin resistance. Go on a low carb diet.”

But I need to remind you, that dieting exacerbates poor health, metabolism, and disordered eating.

Dieting is also highly stress-causing. It spikes your cortisol. It puts your whole body in a state of alarm.

It is also miserable.

It also almost always backfires with an equal binge rebellion.

Dieting makes you more fixated on food, and more likely to binge or just plain eat WEIRDLY and nuttily.

So as soon as you come at PCOS trying to lose weight, you’re fucked, in my opinion.

1. Dieting and/or low carb does not improve health or sugar metabolism

Read this book, In Defense of Sugar. It has become a must read for all Fuck It Diet followers.

2. I believe PCOS is Stress and Environmentally caused 

I strongly believe that insulin resistance and weight gain, are symptoms, not causes, of a bigger metabolic situation.

Caused and exacerbated by STRESS. (And environmental factors. Some we have control over, some not.)

Stress hormones really mess with the normal hormonal process. It can totally hijack your system.

You know what exacerbates stress hormones?… Yea. Dieting.

3. Losing weight isn’t the way to improve your health

Which brings me to my second huge recommended reading: Health at Every Size.

Habits and Self Love FIRST. Weight is secondary for health. Are there unhealthy fat people? Sure! But there are unhealthy thin people, too. It’s not about the weight, it’s about the habits.

Most often, weight isn’t the thing that causes the health problems in the first place. The weight is either the symptom, or completely neutral.

4. I believe PCOS is also highly energetic/emotional

Well, I believe all illnesses have an emotional/spiritual component. And no, I’m not saying you can magick✨ yourself better. But the emotional/spiritual and physical are highly connected. And dealing with your inner world is essential, which is a lot of the work that we do in my 6 Month Life Recovery Program.

There are things I DO recommend for PCOS.

Think about nourishing your body. Think about ADDING great practices, nutrients, and minerals, not taking things out.

1. Dark Leafy Greens

2. Sweet Potatoes

3. Magnesium

4. DIM

5. D-Chiro Inositol

6. B Complex

7. Rhodiola Rosea

8. Easy, joyful movement. Whatever that means to you.

9. Rest, self-love, journaling, stop dieting, stop weighing yourself.

Smile, you’re gorgeous.

These things support your natural ability to live, enjoy and support the way your body works.

Keep your brownies. They aren’t the problem.

Don’t have PCOS but have another health thing? Read this: But “What if I Have Health Problems?“