I’ve gotten this question a lot.
What is the Fuck It Diet’s take on alcohol???!?!??
Do I need to stop restriction of alcohol?
Is restriction of alcohol making me crave it more?
As you might imagine, this question normally comes from people who feel like they are drinking “too much.” Whatever that means to them.
So here is my honest answer to how the Fuck It Diet works in with Alcohol.
And the answer is probably not going to be as straight forward as you hope.
Alcohol is not food. No matter how many funny memes you read about it being an important food groups. So when I’m asked “are your thoughts on alcohol the same as your thoughts on food?”, I need to be clear that they are not the same beast.
Restriction of food biologically wires you to crave it (for SURVIVAL). Restricting lowers your metabolism and can mess with your health.
Not drinking does not do that. Not drinking, or just drinking less, is arguably good for your health.
Again: not eating, or even trying to eat “perfectly” (whatever that means) is arguably bad for your health.
So we are already comparing apples and oranges.
WHY are we drinking?
Drinking in moderation isn’t the problem. Nobody reaches out to me to ask about drinking if they feel like they drink in healthy moderation.
So the question is why do we drink “too much”? Too much is actually the problem. And too much is something different to different people.
When we drink too much, we are drinking to numb, to help calm ourselves down, to escape the extremity of our emotions, to dull the highs and lows of being alive.
We are using it to escape.
Do I believe in the need for complete alcohol abstinence? That one drop will make you lose control? I don’t. But then again, I am not the person that has struggled for years in and out of rehab. Alcohol never ravaged my life.
I’m talking based on my experience as someone who used to drink significantly more than I do now. My experience may not be applicable to yours. Or maybe it is.
I am just someone who seems to have healed my relationship to both food and alcohol.
I used to drink way more than I do now. In fact, all through the first few years on the Fuck It Diet I drank a a good amount more. More than is recommended. 7 drinks a week? I remember tallying up my normal about of drinks per week and thinking… “whoops”.
I wanted to be one of those people who could have a glass or two of wine with dinner every night. And maybe sometimes with lunch. I used to joke that I wished I could become a functional alcoholic …Hilarious.
Normally it was just drinks with friends, not crazy parties. And I actually felt like I had a good handle on it. I was normally drinking less than everyone else, and there were times I could feel when my body was “done” with alcohol after 2 or 3 drinks, just like with food. But again, they are different beasts. There, we are leaning more into the intuition side of things here than pure biological signals.
Drinking a good amount worked fine with the Fuck It Diet. I became fully normal with food as a moderate social drinker. I just didn’t worry about it too much. I just focused on becoming normal with food, and roughly listening to my intuition, and working on the emotional side of everything (hellooooo, energy work!).
Recently I’ve cut back on drinking because there is no other way of slicing it: it makes me feel horrible physically. It ruins my entire next day. Even one or two drinks. I have come to accept that some people are better ‘detoxers’ than others, and I just feel like my body is mad at me when I drink.
But I was originally resistant to cutting back. I like the lifestyle. I liked bars. I liked the buzz. I liked the escape.
I liked the escape.
And that’s ok. That’s allowed to be a choice. We are allowed to relax. We don’t have to be ‘on’ all the time. That’s allowed to be a part of how you navigate life.
But once your are using alcohol to consistently escape and numb yourself, it’s not healthy or happy, and that escape can become compulsive.
But it’s not the alcohol that needs to change. It’s not about the alcohol. It’s about what’s underneath. It’s about what you’re escaping.
It’s your willingness or unwillingness to feel. It is all about dealing with the pain and anxiety that is underneath.
Why are you drinking? What are you not willing to feel? What are you not willing to face?
In my opinion and experience, dealing with those things, however slowly, by going to therapy, journaling, feeling your feelings, “upping tolerance” for feeling your emotions – old and new, awareness, compassion, slowing down, energy work, choosing joy and happiness, making conscious changes to the way you see yourself and taking ownership over your life… that’s a better way to deal with this.
Dealing with the reason you are drinking is the answer.
You can, alternately, cut out alcohol in an attempt to force yourself to deal with what you were using it to avoid.
Without working on what’s underneath, you’ll cut out alcohol and replace that escapism and attempt and numbing-out with something else, only to maybe fall back on alcohol or some other addiction eventually, instead of dealing with what’s really going on.
It’s less about what you’re using, and more about what you’re using it for.
That is why the emotional work underneath the Fuck it Diet is important.
That’s why I do energy work and encourage you to allow yourself to be vulnerable, imperfect, and to feel your emotions.
That’s the overlap with the Fuck it Diet – being willing to deal with what is underneath.
And being kind to yourself.
And eating, obviously.