If you have read enough of my posts already, you know I don’t believe in diets, I don’t believe in letting food choices stress you out, and I don’t think cravings are demons within that we need to destroy – but instead cravings are wonderful little messages/guides that can lead us to eating what we need.

I also don’t believe that its helpful to hold ourselves to impossibly high health standards.

I argue in defense of sugar, fat, dairy, midnight snacks and more to come, in order to help people stop fearing food and start eating it.

Stop restricting and start nourishing.

So what about this little thing called Emotional Eating?

I argue that the majority of disordered eating is rooted in restriction, but sometimes, people just eat to numb out and stop feeling.

And here we get into the emotional and the spiritual side of eating.

The way we eat can reveal to us what we believe about Life. Are we afraid there is not enough? Are we constantly afraid to eat too much? Constantly restricting? Constantly guilty. Constantly hungry?

How to Address Emotional Eating

If you find yourself eating in response to sad or stressful situations instead of pure hunger, as many people do, you are afraid of your pain.

We are afraid that the anger we have will consume us. We are afraid that the fear we have will destroy us. We are afraid that the sadness we squelch will debilitate us. Yes it is scary, but we are wrong. It cannot destroy us. Pain is just pain. Our avoidance and resistance to the pain is far worse than actually just feeling it.

And the solution is simple, transformative, and not nearly as difficult as it seems: Feel.

“Whatever you accept fully, will complete itself, and disappear” – Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work.

You can always still eat after – or during. But make a contract with yourself to start feeling.

Simply feel the sensation of your pain. Label it.  Accept it, welcome it, and be curious about it.

And when you feel it, accept it and welcome it non-judgmentally, it really does lose it’s power. It becomes just a thing- not a horror.

Then you can go eat whatever you want, not because you are avoiding your life and your feelings, but because you are damn hungry.

I’ve heard it all- all the reasons dairy is apparently horrible for you:

Not only is it labelled “pus” (thank you, Skinny Bitch book), but it is filled with hormones, spikes insulin, casein is addictive, everyone is lactose intolerant, its a neolithic food, we are adults and don’t need milk, and even the most mainstream and fat-phobic reason: it is loaded with saturated FAT!

Lots of groups like to give their reasons why milk and dairy are health wreckers, but I am here to argue in Milk’s defense.

Lactose Intolerance

Many people are lactose intolerant, or “lactose intolerant”. I was diagnosed as lactose intolerant at 2 years old and grew up drinking rice milk and soy cheese. (blerggg) But I would sneak real cheese at school. In fact, my schtick in the cafeteria was that I would go to the salad bar and just fill up a whole bowl of shredded cheese and eat it with my hands. Delicious. I was a Fuck It Dieter long before I was a dieter.

But I found I could tolerate cheese no problem, and also that it was my favorite food. But milk, which I rarely tried, and never really liked anyway, made me feel bloated. Lots of the extreme diets I went on argued against dairy, and because of my “lactose intolerance” I believed them even more.

Its Not the Milk’s Fault

I read recently that lactose intolerance is not the milk’s fault, it is our fault. They argue that the difficulty digesting it is due to impaired gut function and low thyroid function. And that in many cases, slowly adding it back in can help our bodies adjust to digesting it.

Not only did Ray Peat and Danny Roddy convince me to give milk another go, but also the Weston A. Price Foundation’s support of (Raw) Dairy consumption. Not only that, but the restrictive GAPS diet I tried (and failed) even supports dairy consumption.

While WAPF and other Real Food enthusiasts insist that milk should be raw, Ray Peat seems to think that even pasteurized milk can be beneficial.

So I began drinking some. First a glass of pasteurized milk -which did leave me bloated. But, I was at my parents home in PA at the time where Raw Milk is easier to get, so the next day I had some raw milk and felt fine.

!

I kept on drinking raw milk for a few days. When I ran out, I decided to have another glass of pasteurized milk. And I felt fine. I felt fine! I cured a life long case of lactose intolerance.

Then I started in on the ice cream.

While I would say that raw milk is probably best I think it is amazing that it alone cured my inability to drink pasteurized milk. I am now back living in NY, where raw milk is far more difficult to get, so I drink pasteurized grass-fed milk sometimes. And I eat ice cream a lot.

So… Is Milk a Beneficial and/or Essential Part of the Diet?

I don’t know. I don’t know and I don’t even think I care.

I am in the business of busting food myths and food phobias.

I wanted to show myself that I could. And give myself the option to drink milk and eat ice cream if that’s what I crave. I already tolerated cream in my coffee and allthecheese. I wanted the freedom and the option to go even further. Plus I had a feeling that it could be great.

I am trying to tell you, dear reader, that if you are scared of milk: no need. And if you are lactose intolerant or even allergic to milk, it is not the milk. It may just be your body’s state, and if it is worth it to you to acclimate to drinking milk, you probably can.

How are we supposed to eat what we crave when we are afraid of food that might be good for us?!

Milk’s Benefits in Simple Terms

Milk is loaded with protein, vitamin D, vitamin A, vitamin K2, and B2 and B12 vitamins. As well as grassfed milk having conjugated linoleic acid (CLA)- an amazing-for-you-fat. These are all vitamins that are not quite abundant in other foods, and definitely not abundant in plant foods.

Milk is easy to consume and the nutrients are easy to absorb.

I think the best thing about milk and cheese and ice cream though, is that it is one of the highest foods in saturated fat, which is a good thing. It supports healthy cell, hormone and brain function, as well as being anti-inflammatory.

Remember, my goal is to take away unnecessary food phobias to allow our cravings to be King. Don’t listen to those ladies who wrote Skinny Bitch. Just because they have a book doesn’t make them right.

And just because I have a blog doesn’t make me right.

Listen to Yourself.

and Fuck It!

How many times have you heard about “Combatting Sugar Cravings” or “Reducing Carb Cravings” ?

I’ve heard vegans supporting each other on “Overcoming Meat cravings” -and Hell! -when I was raw vegan I would read in the community forums people discussing overcoming their evil and addictive “Cooked Food Cravings“.

Cooked Food Cravings! Oh the horrors.

In my post In Defense of Sugar- Part 1 I talked about how I came to believe that sugar was not inherently bad. Here I will go more in depth, and relate it to addiction, cravings and more of the mental components.

Sugar Addiction Myth

Sugar is treated like an evil drug, and any desire for it is feared and shamed. And while it is true that sugar can be used like a drug in binges or emotional eating, it is not inherently evil or bad, and neither is the desire for it. Craving carbs is not a symptom to be squelched.

I am under the firm belief, that food cravings are not a problem unless you have denial or guilt associated with the craving. In my opinion and experience, denial and guilt are the things that lead to overeating and intensified and irrational food cravings, not the food itself.

If there was no guilt attached to a craving, you would eat it, and go on with your day. You would digest it and gain the maximum benefit from the food that your body had been asking for (cookies included). And you’d probably be feeling great!

Last Supper Syndrome

If you are giving into a craving under the conditions of “Just This Once then Never Again”. Then you will most likely subconsciously fear for your impending lack and potentially abuse it- maybe overeating till you’re sick. Then you blame the problem on the food itself, instead of your disordered relationship with the food. You will also have feelings of guilt associated with eating this food.

And guilt never helped no-no-nobody.

But You Swear! You Really Are Addicted to Sugar!

This is what I have come to see that the supposed “sugar addiction” really is:

Eating carbs and sugar is calming and feel-good for the brain. This is normal and natural. If you do not allow yourself to eat carbs regularly, you may find yourself “addicted” to the way you feel on carbs when you give into your natural cravings for them. This may lead to overeating or bingeing. Is this because carbs are bad? No! It is because you are denying them!

Sugar also elevates blood sugar. This is also normal and natural. If you are not used to eating sugar, your body will not handle the sugar as well. It may rise too high. It may rise high and crash, leaving you to crave more. Is this because carbs are bad? No! It is because you are denying them- and not used to metabolizing them.

The more you deny carbs, the more you risk “addiction” symptoms because of the feel-good properties, the body’s ability to metabolize them, and because of abuse due to denial and guilt.

What Does This Mean?

Start eating what you crave.

I do not know what you crave. I would never dream of forcing you to eat cookies or pizza or a rotisserie chicken just because that is what I craved and ate today.

You are the only one who knows what you crave.

Your cravings may not be ‘rational’ but do not discredit them. What you crave is what you need. Not only because your body is probably asking for something quite specific, but also because the longer you deny your cravings, the more insane and intense they may become.

What If You Crave Twinkies? Should You Trust Yourself THEN?!

Do I think that there is great nutritional value to Twinkies? Not necessarily. The reason you crave them specifically and not “cake” is probably psychological. Linked to some past denial or memory from childhood.

But it is a food, and if you crave it, the sooner you start eating as many damn Twinkies as you want, the sooner the Twinkies will likely loosen their hold over you.

The first healing that has to happen is your denial/guilt relationship with food. Only then can you feed the body for the right reasons instead of fear-based reasons, denial reasons or guilt reasons.

So, Should You Be Eating Lots and Lots of Carbs?

While I do not believe that sugar or carbs are villains, and that they are necessary, for example for optimum thyroid function etc., that doesn’t not mean that I believe people always need to be pounding sodas and cakes for their health and well-being. Again, it all comes down to what you crave.

But, I feel very strongly about defending and supporting carbs because:

1. your body does need carbs
2. denial of cravings often leads to disordered eating
3. guilt with cravings often leads to disordered eating
4. food phobias are detrimental to intuitive eating

I think that a moderate, healthy intake of carbs is only sustainable and health supporting if it is coming from your true desires and cravings. Only then will you eat what nourishes you and be happy to stop when you are satisfied. Not out of fear for your waistline and health, but out of true desire.

BUT the only way to get to that point is to allow yourself to heal your relationship with food. Which means allowing and indulging all cravings. Which, may lead you to eating a shit-ton of sugar for a while.

And I want you to be ok with that.