Emotional Eating is …. bad, right? Even throughout all of my diet-dogma-busting, and coming to realize that sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, gluten, and calories were not the real enemies, it left me assuming that “Emotional Eating” was then the default problem. If food isn’t inherently bad, then why do people run into problems with it? Why do people get fat or have health problems? Abusing Food…. Right? “Emotional Eating”????

I definitely can get into a state of being uncomfortable or jumpy, and that  will sometimes lead to eating on autopilot- (which is different and less intense than my past denial/hunger binges). And eating on autopilot- as opposed to mindful slow, pleasure filled eating- isn’t exactly great or the most joyful….. so…that is what they mean, right? That is “emotional eating”? But after reading a quote by Gwenyth Olwyn, I think the term emotional eating needs to be redefined.

I think the problem is abusing food. And abusing food can be restrictive or it can be excess- as a way for control , or numbness, or escape. And the only way to get over that is awareness, bravery: learning to feel your feelings, and consistently letting yourself eat whatever the hell you want (which is paramount) Other than that, you must emotionally eat.

Let me repeat: You must emotionally eat. Eating is not a logical game. Eating is an emotional game, an intuitive and gut-led practice, an “I-can’t-explain-why-I-crave-tuna-right-now” (or brownies, or crackers). You cannot rationalize everything you eat. You cannot eat in a bubble. You cannot only eat when you are completely emotionally neutral. You cannot only eat things because they are “the best and healthiest foods”. Because that is disordered eating. That is where we ran into trouble before, because that is where we start striving for perfection where perfection doesn’t exist.

Our best bet at wholesome, healthy, delicious, pleasure-filled eating is to eat from your emotions. To eat from your heart, and gut, and from the inkling that you have, and the sense that you need some pineapple but you will never be able to prove exactly why. That is why cravings shouldn’t be fought.

“We cannot eat logically. Our logical minds are too late to the evolutionary party, by millennia, to actually offer any value to how we pursue and stay optimally energized. … How you feel about your food is how you not only survive, but also thrive.” -Gwenyth Olwyn in her post Bingeing is Not Bingeing

If you are stuffing yourself to a painful point often, or bingeing every night… you are probably still not letting yourself be free enough with food. There probably is a bit of restriction in the back of your head. A fear that next week or next month there may be another diet. Overeating naturally tapers off the longer your allow yourself to eat whatever you want. In time your body’s needs taper off and your restricted mind’s needs taper off. Be patient, and eat freely, and nourishingly…. and even….emotionally. Food is still not the problem!

Part of my “philosophy” is, that under normal and not-crazy eating habits, the body knows what to do: how to crave food, how to eat food, and how to metabolize food. And for many people, the body also knows “how to not be fat”, without the use of any extra manipulation.

Then there is Health at Every Size, which I also subscribe to, where it’s said that because of various factors, your body is your body and your body size if your body size. And dieting won’t do anything but stress it out and make you insane and unhappy. So no matter what your weight set point is, you have access to all the health and happiness you could ever want and need, regardless of size.

I agree with both of these philosophies and they have the potential to go hand in hand. Especially if, when I say: the body knowing “how to not be fat” it means “how to be a reasonable, healthy body size”, and not skewed with a disordered ulterior motive for extreme tininess, if that tininess is not your body’s reality. So Health at Every Size literally means Health at Every Size, whatever that inherently means for your body: Skinny, Thin, Curvy, Big, Fat, or WhatHaveYou.

And if this was as easily done as it is for me to type, then there would be no issue. “Great! I can be happy and healthy no matter what size I am? Fabulous! Awesome!!!”

But it IS true. It is.

But socially it is not so simple…

Why do we feel, as a culture, that being fat is the worst thing ever.

Because, generally, we do. Worse than being cruel or sick or poor or depressed- underneath it all, we culturally villainize and try to avoid fatness most of all. More than just an aesthetic issue, it is seen as a moral failing, and something to apologize for. It is now a scapegoat for all our other problems. And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to other people, and the cycle continues.

So much so, that it is practically common knowledge that being fat is bad. Even though it is a false simplification, it is common knowledge, like the sky being blue. Why?

(By the way, the sky being blue is an illusion, so…. yea)

Sure, there are some big and “simple” reasons:

The Diet Industry, the studies they have paid for and cling to that support the idea that body fat is the death of us all, and the way they use media and advertising to twist into your  fragile mind by showing you how much better your life could be if you were thin like you want to be. And tied to that is Big Pharma making diet pills for the diet industry, and all the other drugs to combat obesity and all obesity’s horrors. And then connected closely to that is the Medical Community Dogma that is funded by big pharma and the diet industry, and if doctors say being fat is bad, then being fat must be bad. So let’s look to the diet industry for the answers, and let’s take some pills.

How Hollywood and the Fashion Industry factor into this is a whole other issue. Because the fact that you can “know” that body fat is not our biggest health or moral flaw, doesn’t change the fact that there is still a deep seated, mean little part of us that sees thin as beautiful and glamorous and good- and fat as bad.

As if being fat is the worst thing.

It’s not.

But as long as we buy into it, and believe it, we are perpetuating it.

Look, I don’t think that being overweight is the natural state for everybody. I think that with normal eating, people will eventually settle at a good and healthy size for them. I’m not telling everyone to gain weight to stick it to the man. Or that if you don’t have any extra fat you must be disordered or living in fear. I am also not saying that skinny is bad and fat is good- or fat is bad and somewhere in between is good. The thing is that there should be no good or bad.

What is my point? My point is, that the cultural idea that being fat is the worst thing that could happen to us is flawed, body-fearing, and having us focus on the wrong things. It is pushing us towards diets that either focus on calorie restriction and fake foods, or diets that are absurdly obsessed with real foods and purity, and lead us into restrictive mindsets that ruin our ability to listen to our bodies and honor our bodies. It keeps our worth set on how we look instead of how we act and how we feel, which screws us up metabolically, it screws us up psychologically, and misses the point.

So? Live like being fat is not the worst thing.

Because it absolutely is not.

It is very important that you eat a diet based in whole grains and plant food. “Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants”. Michael Pollan said that.

Lots of Fruits and Vegetables. Also, you need calcium, so drink Milk.

Well, it is also very important not to eat too many grains, because a diet high in carbohydrates can cause insulin resistance and diabetes and like, ugliness. So yea, don’t eat a lot of carbs, you can maybe have some sugar-free jello. Actually, don’t. Cancer.

Don’t eat a lot of eggs. Saturated. Fat. Don’t eat a lot of saturated fat. Or, maybe just don’t eat trans-fat.

Fish is a good idea. Good fats.

No salt. Salt causes some kind of popped veins and water retention.

And actually, wait, apparently everyone is also gluten-sensitive, so just don’t eat grains at all.

But also don’t drink milk or eat dairy either because it is mucus-forming and like, are you a nursing baby? NO. You are not, so don’t be gross and drink pus. Just eat Kale. Kale smoothies are so delicious.

So, start thinking about eliminating cooked food from your diet. Do you want to be Dead and Cooked?! NO. Stupid American! You want to be glowy and beautiful and enlightened like a raw vegan. There are toxins in everything imaginable. So eat lots of organic fruits, vegetables, coconut oil, and expensive dehydrated-at-less-that-118-degrees-treats made out of nuts.

So, wait, yes eat fat…

Actually, cut out those dehydrated treats, you are getting fat and poor.

Do lots of juice cleanses. Get those toxins out. Don’t be alarmed if your health gets worse and worse. This is just because the toxins are on their way out. Your health has been bad for months? Toxins! Be Patient! Be STRONG!

Consider staring at the sun. Sungazing is a way to soak in energy from the earth without eating toxins. (This is a real thing)

Actually, ugh wait, scratch all of that. We are supposed to be Hunter Gatherers. Duh, History + Science. Eat meat. Wild meat, if possible. Meat and avocados and vegetables and fruit and coconut oil by the spoonful. Potatoes… ugh I don’t know. Do you want to be fat and have diabetes? This is your choice.

And while we are at it, like, fruit actually has a lot of fructose which is terrible for your ….liver. Yes, your liver. So just eat vegetables and meat, mostly. We were right about the carbs thing the first time.

Cut out all those nuts and nut-based baked goods that you now eat to feed your sad, malnourished soul. Polyunsaturated fats are terrible for you in high quantities! Do you realize how hard it would be to just eat a handful of nuts in the wild, willy-nilly? It would take you like a whole day to collect those nuts from the tree and crack them open. Saturated fat is way more natural.

Ok, eat salt, though! You definitely need salt.

Ah, well if you have digestive issues by this point, maybe don’t eat a lot of vegetables, because they are really hard to digest. And you definitely don’t have enough good bacteria in your diet, so take a probiotic and eat some fermented cabbage. Did I tell you not to eat a lot of vegetables? I know this is confusing, but you are really close to being really, really healthy.

Stop eating so much FISH, you have mercury poisoning now.

Eat Eggs.

Eat lots of soup, soup is good for you.

Not out of a CAN!!!? My god. Cans have BPA-plastics in them. They cause all sorts of fertility issues and boobs on men. DON’T.

Have you been using the microwave all this time? Oh GOD. The Nazis invented the microwave! It changes the molecules and causes cancer. CANCER. Oh Godddd don’t use the microwave.

Don’t bring soup in a thermos made out of plastic! Plastic leaches hormone disruptors. And don’t bring it in a thermos made out of metal because then I am going to have to take you to a chelator to get all of the heavy metals out of your cells. Do you want your children to have autism?

Drink cold, homemade soup. You can warm it up in a very expensive pot on the stove.

Are you now tired and cold all the time now? Well, you probably screwed up your metabolism. Add some carbs back in. ADD ‘EM BACK IN!

Your body thought it was starving… whoops.

Oh God, my GODDD, just eat whatever the hell you want. You are crazy now. Why did you ever listen to me!

Just put down your cell phone. Do you want to get cancer of the hand and ear?!