As if Being Fat is the Worst Thing

  1. Jackie says:

    What a fantastic post! I’m nearly driving myself batty with my stubborn, fat retaining body. Worrying that other people are judging me as greedy and lazy when I’m not. My body just doesn’t behave the same as my slim friends who eat more than I do and don’t have food issues going on…..wish I could change my mindset but its a lifetime if conditioning

  2. missnudge says:

    Caroline, I actually love you. This blog is exactly what I need to keep me from going crazy, and I can’t actually thank you enough for the support and peace your bringing to my life.
    Keep writing and helping our little souls 🙂
    Nadia x

  3. Rebecca says:

    I’m just getting used to this idea now, that being “fat” isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me, ever. Though for the record, I’ve never actually been fat. I just got it into my head that people wouldn’t look at me the same, or look at me at all for that matter, if I gained some weight. I spent a miserable few months trying to eat so perfectly and cleanly, and I was following all of these fitspo accounts on Instagram. No one ever posted a meal that wasn’t clean, and I started wondering how do they not feel deprived? I did okay for the first while eating cleanly, but suddenly I started bingeing on foods with little nutritional value. And then I would be so immensely filled with guilt because I couldn’t live like those people on Instagram. Fuck fitspo and thinspo. Haha. I deleted Facebook and Instagram last Sunday and I’m just starting to get used to the idea that I can eat whatever the hell I want to and look how I want to without comparing myself to others. It feels so freeing. 🙂 I’ve been reading so much lately because I’m not distracted by those stupid apps anymore, and I’m not exhausted from forcing myself to wake up at the crack of dawn each day to work out. There is so much more to life than just being thin.

    Haha anyway, this is a topic I have many opinions on and I could type all day, but I’ll leave that to the experts. Thanks for the awesome post. 🙂

    • Carrie says:

      It’s a journey! BELIEVE me, I get it. I’m ok with it one day, and then the next day … “Self-ACCEPTANCE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!”

  4. Samantha says:

    *My two cents*
    I LOVE this article, and I would add that a lot of the societal hate attached to being overweight has to do with it being such a ‘visible shortcoming.’

    Can you tell from across the room if someone has a bad credit score? If they look at too much porn? If they are snide and cocky to people who have less money than them? If they tend to be rude to service people or mean to animals? Can you tell what kind of a worker/parent/sibling they are by a sideways glance? Can you measure how kind or thoughtful they may be or fail to be? No. But you can tell if they’re fat.
    You can’t technically even tell by looking at them if they are fit and healthy…thin people can have medical issues, eating disorders, drug addictions etc but for the sake of stereotyping people tend to assume that because someone isn’t overweight they must be living healthy, and if someone is overweight they must be sitting around hogging down twinkies and cheetos all day.
    It’s an easy way to look down on other people’s choices and lifestyle without having to know a single thing about them. It used to be acceptable to assume women were stupid, gays were deviants, black people were uneducated etc. and we learned to be outraged by that kind of thinking but never quite got over the impulse to judge and condescend that it stems from.

    Hating overweight people, and all the half true medical/health/social issues that fat-haters cling to are just newer shinier versions of the old prejudices we like to think we’ve all moved past. Old embarrassing propaganda has plenty of ‘examples’ of how right it is to think people who aren’t white can’t attend college or women are too crazy to be allowed to vote. If it really actually was about health, the outcry against drinking alcohol, smoking anything, drug use of all kids or being underweight would be just as loud as the campaign against obesity. But it’s not. Because you can spot a chubby girl clear across the road, but you’ll never be able to pinpoint who is a couple months behind on the rent or who needs to visit the bar less often unless you bother to get to know someone. And getting to know someone is extremely counterproductive when you’re trying to throw someone into a broad sweeping generalization and look down on them.

    • C says:

      What a fantastic comment! That is a post all on it’s own. You are so so so correct.

    • Ann B says:

      Samantha, Your Two Cents is worth reading daily….and I’ve printed it out to post and see daily.
      My father once made a snide remark about a cousin’s second husband’s size at a small backyard party…neither the cousin or husband were in attendance. I responded (I am the fat daughter) and asked Dad, “Does being fat make him (the new husband) a bad person?”
      Apparently, being an alcoholic with a beer gut (the first husband) was OK to my father (also an alcoholic).
      And I wasn’t that fat as a preschooler, but I had the nicknames to encourage a fat self-image that is now me for now.
      The other day, I asked myself the title of this article. I had to say, “No, being fat is not the worst thing.”
      Thanks to everyone for the Fuck It Diet website, articles, blogs and comments.
      Finally, at age 57, I believe I will become a person who eats normally, without fear….and will have a body that my body creates from normal behavior with food.

    • Kate C says:

      Thanks for such an amazing, truthful post & comment. They have both moved me to tears-so glad I found this great site (thanks Matt Stone!) Thanks to you wonderful people I feel hopeful for the first time in my 42 years that I might actually be able to get over my insane beliefs about my own body & reclaim self acceptance, authenticity and peace. Much, much love & gratitude for waking me up.

      • C says:

        That is fantastic to hear! I am so happy to be able to connect with and inspire people like you 🙂

  5. Ann B says:

    I had another aha moment yesterday. While shopping at Joann’s and discovering that the Butterick patterns were on sale for $1 each, up to 10. I bought many patterns in my now size and fully intend to sew for this size. For the past couple decades I’ve basically refused to sew for myself unless I had become some magical size and kept it off. Didn’t happen, so didn’t sew for me. I look forward to sleeveless summer tops and even pants and jeans and coordinated outfits. Woohoo!

  6. Fat Emma says:

    Honestly? To me it seems that being fat is ruining my life right now.

    I really, really, really cared about this guy. Like, a LOT. I thought he was dropping hints that he liked me, but he recently started dating my skinny, pretty friend, who is pretty much just like me. Except she’s pretty. I’m not. I’m ugly.

    I hate being fat.

    Being fat is horrible, it sucks, and I’m sick of being the ugly friend. I’ll never be beautiful, that much I know, but I’m sick of never being good enough–due entirely to being FAT.

    I didn’t get the role in the play I wanted. I was apparently a perfect fit–hah, that’s ironic–except that I didn’t ‘fit with the rest of the cast.’

    I’d be the only overweight one in the show if I’d been cast. Coincidence? Probably not.

    Being fat sucks. Say all you want about guys “liking a little more booty to hold at night,” but I’m one of the non-delusional ones who knows that’s a big, fat, freaking lie.

    But apparently as much as I hate being fat, I love food more, ’cause I’m still not skinny.

    I just want to be about 50 pounds lighter. I guess that’s too much to ask. It’s my own fault. Maybe if I wasn’t such a freaking pig I wouldn’t be this ugly. I guess that’s just how it is.

    • Caroline says:

      Hey Emma,

      I understand that it sometimes feels like the world is against you. But I promise your attitude and the way YOU feel about yourself matters so so much. I guess you think that is Bullshit, but it is true. The way you feel about yourself goes a LONG WAY.

      I recommend you look up plus size fashion models, and fat every day models on Pinterest, and read fat activist blogs. Honestly, the way you see yourself, IS partially due to a world that is skewed against fat people, but you really can go a long way to change that. You are beautiful, even if you can’t see it right now.