Health and Food

So many of my followers and clients will ask me:

Ok but I really care about health and don’t want to become unhealthy. I have health issues too, so how can I just let go and let myself eat anything?”

I understand heath issues. I understand health stress. It was one of the big reasons I became crazy about food in the first place.

Cystic acne. Hypoglycemic fainting. Thyroid nodule filling up with fluid. Diabetes medicine (that burned an ulcer in my esophagus on my homestay in France) (no, I do not have diabetes), such extreme anemia that I needed a blood transfusion (didn’t get one. Became raw vegan instead), no period, hair falling out, excess hair, horrible sleep, being able to feel my liver when I have 3 sips of alcohol, restless legs, cystic ovaries…

Add on top of that, erratic weight because of bingeing and restricting for 10+ years, all in an attempt to heal my health, and become beautiful and perfect and safe.

I understand health issues.

And you know what? My issues were not all from dieting. In fact, I would say 95% of them weren’t from dieting at all.

Dieting is really bad for your health and metabolism and weight, but my health issues are more from an overload of chemicals and toxicity.

And I do not want to be a fear monger. I think an obsessive fear of toxins will ruin your life as quickly as the toxins themselves. We are living in a very toxic world, but that doesn’t mean we have to hide in our rooms drinking celery juice.

My family moved into a house with chlordane implanted into the floorboards (a now outlawed termite pesticide). Then we did construction, drilling into the foundation/chlordane. We all got sick. Hormonal stuff, my mom got lymphoma, I got anemia. I also had major dental surgeries for 5 years, lots of glue. Lots of chemicals. Lots of stress. Plus epstein barr and chronic fatigue. Etc Etc Etc.

Restricting and bingeing on top of all that certainly did not help. But eating, food, and weight was not the cause either.

My point is? I’m not going to sit here and tell you that all of your problems are caused by dieting. I am not going to tell you that not dieting will cure all your health problems.

What I will tell you, is that there is absolutely no way I was able to sanely seek any sort of real health while I was obsessed with what I put in my mouth. My desire to perfect my diet felt like it was going to be helpful, but it was completely destructive and soul sucking.

And no, The Fuck It Diet did not cure my health and hormones. It didn’t. It helped. It made me more clear headed. It made my weight stable and freed up my mind to create and learn and relax. But normal eating alone won’t heal everything. However, I believe it is the only way to lay a foundation for other health practices (whatever they may be for you – I am not a doctor).

One of the biggest mistakes was seeing my weight as an indicator of health, and thinking that controlling my weight was going to heal my health. Not. So.

I now see how much my weight is incredibly independent from health. The closest link is correlation or a symptom of other things, nothing more.

Four years after healing my eating, I was drawn to work with a very holistic doctor who specializes in Lymes and Parasites. (Two things I don’t think I have… yet 😉 )

She asked me if there was anything I wasn’t willing to do.

And I said “Go on a diet, because I’ve literally tried everything, and it made me crazy.” And she said, “Great. Ok”.

I said, “I mean if there is something general you need to tell me, I am willing to keep it in mind, but I am not willing to do anything extreme with diet unless it is proven that I need it.”

She didn’t give me any diet recommendations. I’m still eating what I crave, and seeking health, and, after years of desperation, totally unattached to a result. I mean it when I say it is helpful to let go of health perfectionism.

You can learn to eat normally, settle wherever your weight wants to be, and seek health in whatever way feels right to you right now. They are not mutually exclusive.

We are living in a toxic world, and food is the least of our worries.

Eat what you want. Trust that you will find whatever health practices support the life you want. And care about yourself and your happiness. That’s literally all you can do.