I Can’t Believe I Was So Afraid of Sugar
November 8, 2013
Seriously. I can’t believe it.
Being afraid of carbs was like my religion. And these religious beliefs always ranged from mildly afraid to EXTREMELY afraid. I believed every bad thing I ever read about it. And whenever I ate carbs it was with a heavy, guilty heart. “I just can’t get it together” “I am feeding my addiction” “I am going to gain weight with every bite”. Every fear you could have about carbs, I have had it. And I have yo-yo’d with carbs for 10 years.
And when I first started this journey, it was from a strict Paleo “carbs-are-the-worst” view point. And I literally started the Fuck It Diet with “lots” of squash and potatoes. And it was THE SCARIEST THING.
The weirdest part now, is looking back to see how it was all in my brain.
I am weight stabilized now. I eat a LOT of carbs. A lot. In fact, I still will not fall asleep if I have not eaten enough calories or carbs during the day.
Point being: It is so clear to me now that carbs and or sugar, on their own or with other foods, are NOT a problem in the least. Inherently, they are neutral. They are fuel. They are not always what I crave, but sometimes they are all I crave. And it is good and fine…. and nothing bad happens.
It took time, though. It took time. It took me so long to finally add back in gluten, and then to start eating it liberally and then to actually be able to eat it without any anxious thoughts before during or after. But time has proven what I hoped it would. And my body has proven what I hoped it would. It can handle it. And everything is fine.
Keep Going.
Fuck It.
I wish I could agree on this issue. But personally I’ve come to the conclusion that sugar just isn’t for me. I feel like it makes me a bit crazy, supressesing my emotions as well as my immune system, and has become an addiction. I think some people who don’t have serious emotional problems or depression or anxiety can manage to have it without repercussions, though.
As much as I love sugar, I think I have to say goodbye to it.
Carbs on the other hand I don’t mind. A baked potato with butter doesn’t make me feel anywhere near as crazy as sugar does!
Good luck with your own healing. I’m not posting to belittle your own journey, just offering my own perspective.
I used to feel terrible when I ate sugar. Shaky and nervous. I don’t know how much of that was due the fact that I was definitely scared of it, and how much was due to the fact that I kept cutting it out of my diet and never fully got used to having it. Now I feel fine with it. Not that I always crave it or want it. I am sure I would feel bad if I significantly overrate it.
That is not to say that everyone in the world will be able to handle it well, but it seems the more I have it, the more my body knows how to deal with it.
Thanks for your input though, I appreciate hearing back!
I had ’emotional problems’ (eating disorder). I also still have a lot of depression and anxiety. If I let sugar run them, it can. But really, these issues go far deeper than sugar, and I was just looking for an easy excuse for them. Now I enjoy sugar whenever I like, which isn’t all the time. I allowed whatever addiction I thought I had to it take over. People aren’t addicted to it, they actually need it, to reduce cortisol and calm adrenaline, especially if anxious or depressed. In time, I needed it less and less. Usually it is now an afterthought. But it took months of gobbling it down to ‘get over it’ physically and mentally.
I think that fear of sugar and carbohydrates is something that we are taught and conditioned with. There are so many variations on this theme, some people fear high fructose corn syrup but not fructose itself, some people fear fructose but not table sugar even though table sugar is 50 percent fructose. Many people fear starches but not the supposed low glycemic starches that are in whole grains. Yet whole grains have a higher glycemic index than say spaghetti. Gary Taubes whom I consider to be quite evil touts that all carbohydrates are bad, even low glycemic carbohydrates. Everything here starts becoming so arbitrary because even the experts have a different set of proscriptions. If you heed enough proscriptions the only solution becomes veganism. In my mind all of these proscriptions toward foods and obesity alarmism comes from self-serving moralists who want to control others and make a lot of money. Jon Robison has nailed it when he calls the United States a Food Phobic Nation. I too have gained weight from calorie restriction mostly for health reasons. But at least I was never conditioned to fear specific foods. And now that I do not diet, my weight has stabilized and I am confident that I will not gain weight as long as I do not restrict calories. Many people are reporting the same thing, that weight stabilizes as soon as calorie restriction is stopped and the type of food they eat has no bearing on it,
I used to be the same way. I am still terrified of gluten though, but for why I believe to be a good reason. Every single time I do say “fuck it”
And indulge in my favorite glutinous foods, I break out in severe and painful cystic acne-like rocacea. My doctor said I am not celiac but if what I am doing is working to keep my skin clear, keep doing it because I my have a sensitivity.
I so badly want to say “fuck it” sometimes and drink delicious craft beer again and eat normal yummy pizza and hogies with my girlfriend and family…but I’m legit scared of the consequences. Ahhhhhhhh