Here are some of the common food phobias held by healthy-eating-obsessors, and a short blurb for each explaining why they should not be feared at all. (I am not even getting into the fears of cooked food, or animal products etc…. )
I have had some serious food phobias. For the past ten years- and even until very recently. I thought I had good reasons to hide behind diets too “for health”.
Ohhhhhhhh yes. Mine was a noble cause. Or so I thought. I “have” PCOS: imbalanced hormones. And the doctors link it to “insulin resistance”. Which means: don’t eat sugar, watch your carbs, eat sensibly, control your weight, and if you do those things you may be able to manage your incurable condition, but only if you’re lucky. What a thing to tell a 14 year old. (At a perfectly normal weight.)
(When in truth, I think that my hormonal problems are mostly caused by environmental factors in conjunction with disordered eating habits + a hell of a lot of stress. Read: binge eating industrially produced fake foods. Binge eating caused by mental food deprivation.
Thus began the fear of certain foods. And every year or so, when I moved onto the next militant regimen, the villain and the fear transferred to a new food group. Go figure. This alone proves that diets don’t work. But, I had to learn the hard way, as most people do.
Not only were foods a problem, but I literally felt guilty and anxious every time I was sitting and not “exercising”. Woof.
Fast forward to a few years ago, I had the strong sense that diets weren’t the answer. I was being drawn to intuitive eating. I knew I needed some mental relief from the burden I was carrying. The burden of – If I didn’t find the answer, my health would only further deteriorate. I felt like a ticking time bomb.
But even though I knew that intuitive eating was the answer- I kept getting sucked back into diets “for health”. I thought that I had to do modified intuitive eating. I thought that I was too sensitive to sugar or whatever the feared-food a la mode was to actually let go fully.
At times I would have intuitive eating success, then get sucked back into diets and lose all of the peaceful ground I had gained. (This is because modified intuitive eating isn’t the real deal.)
The latest alternative health diet escapade I went on was the Paleo Diet. No grains. It is supposed to cure everyone of all their health problems- ever, and maybe all of your earthly woes, too. I read many instances where people were cured of PCOS on the Paleo Diet. Yessss I had finally found it!
But not me! All the diet did was make me frighteningly orthorexic again. So afraid of sugar. Grains are evil, gluten is the devil. (Now, some people truly are sensitive or allergic to gluten. And their avoidance can be legitimate….) I, on the other hand, decided I must have a gluten intolerance, because apparently “everyone does”. Even though, there is no concrete evidence that I do. I even told people I did so I could avoid it in peace and heal and then spread the word to the world that gluten was causing all their problems.
The sad thing is, I really was doing this for my health. I was trying to take care of myself. I wanted balanced hormones and good sleep. Things were off, but I didn’t realize that they were most likely off because of YEARS of denying myself certain foods. Even if I was not depriving myself calorically, I was always, one way or another, denying myself mentally. I had convinced myself I didn’t like the taste of sweet things at all. In retrospect, it was just the phobia of what sweet things were doing to me. Not a genuine dislike at all. And, I really DID feel horrible after eating sugar because I restricted it so much and so often that my body was getting worse at handling it. Use it or lose it!
Even though I knew that my food fear was life disrupting, it took going too low-carb, researching what was wrong, and finding ample evidence for carbs and sugar, among other things, that I now have come to believe are 100% healthy and important. And slowly but surely, my body adapted to carbs again.
I intend to write a series of posts that are much more in depth on why the foods we fear are actually good for us. And even though I am a firm supporter and believer of whole, real, “slow” food, I will defend eating fake crap for the mentally therapeutic use of saying “Fuck It” to fear.
Bad food is not as harmful as we think, especially when eaten in the right mind frame.
So Fuck It!
sugar,saturated fat, salt, sounds like a ray peat diet(raypeat.com)
Reading some Ray Peat helped me loosen up my frightened thinking on sugar, which I think is helpful. But subscribing to any one diet as ideal villainizes food and creates stress- for me anyway. So… no, not fully!
This post resonates with me so much! I recently starting eating carbs again and I feel really good. My new focus is on adding in good foods (I’m a big fan of coconut oil) and not worrying about avoiding “bad” foods. It’s a way more joyful and fun way to eat and live. 🙂
Girl, you have blown me away with this blog every step of the way, but this entry was perfect timing for me. I was just asking myself not an hour ago how I was going to jump into this without try to be healthy, or limiting my food, even if it was food I had been denying myself. “Modified” intuitive eating is the PERFECT term. I simply don’t want to gain weight, but how do I micromanage my weight while busting through my eating dsorder…impossible, I am thinking. I want to learn from other’s mistakes and do it all now without bouncing back. I’ve already been working on these changes for a full year mentally…I’m ready to do it physically now but also want to minimize the damage…any advice? Is this crazy?
I don’t think there is a way to minimize the damage (more weight gain or no weight loss). The damage has already been done. Our kindness is now to eat whenever we think about food (our first quiet cue we are hungry….it doesn’t have to scream at us) is the first order of business, whatever we want/comes to mind. Keep many things at hand in your kitchen, workplace, etc. and don’t worry that for awhile it might be mostly sugar. You might need the sugar/carbs for the energy to think…in addition to energy to be active. Hang in there. Our body will correct the damage (excess fat, hair loss, poor skin, irritated bowels) in good time, if we honor our body’s wisdom to eat/eat enough when it asks to be fed.
I have found gelatin to be a great way to get some protein in my diet, when I am not interested in eating meat…or maybe it curbs my meat craving? I bloom 2 T in cold water, heat in microwave (careful not to let boil over), add instant coffee crystals, some stevia or sugar or sugar syrup (depends on the day), coconut oil and cream. I buy my gelatin in bulk at bulk foods dot com
Recently I added three packets of sugar to my coke on ice at a restaurant. Made it taste much better….Ha. Something I never would have done 6 months ago. Don’t add sugar to a soda drink in a can or bottle, or it will fizz out of control….like it fizzes when ice cream is combined to any carbonated drink.
All the best,